12th & 13th August
Song of the day: Better Today - Neyo
Recently I have been blogging every second day & that's what I'll do from now on but at times I will blog daily so just check up anytime & you'll be all updated & got something to read. It's s'all good right? Coz at least I'm still blogging it, so stick around coz blogs will be posted in no time.
Have you ever had this tingling feeling inside your stomach? Something like the butterflies but your just not so sure if it is or not. You constantly think about a certain someone you know what I mean? But it's weird coz your not sure if it's what you really want to happen or not, your not sure if you'll get hurt again: back at square one, or if your gonna be the one hurting them in the end. Your scared of rejection, but it's a risk your willing to take if you like them; you'll just want them to know you do & even if rejection hurts...at least that person knows how you really feel. So are you going to be willing enough to take this risk? Are you so sure you want it to happen? It's not that I don't want it to happen, but its the fact I don't want to do anything wrong in order to hurt you - I don't really mind getting hurt...coz I'll get over it but still it wouldn't matter, I just don't want you to end up being hurt. Although I know I'll try my best to make it work & put all my work in not to hurt you..physically & emotionally. I guess you'll just have to take my word for it & for that I'll try prove it to you. We all know relationships starts at one point & ends at the other, we cannot be so sure that this will start, last or even go smoothly. At the moment, I'm positive that there's something there; but I just don't know ay...it's like a part of me wants something to happen but a bit of me has no clue of what to do. It's probably the fact of hearing the word "relationship" that ruins my mood but I know nothing can stop me from what I feel, seriously. Even if my brain was to play a trick on me, I'm sure my feelings wouldn't coz it has always been with me through all my countless emotions. Strange, but it does stay. Maybe it's just me or maybe is just my instincts?
But we're getting closer each passing day, I guess. Hours of talks - it's making me think. The kind of things we'd share, fall asleep on each other.., your thinking times & it's the best especially when you give into peer pressure. Blaming me on that? Asssif, I'd peer pressure you. 8) Doesn't matter if I don't peer pressure you anyways coz you told me you can just tell me everything. I'm glad to hear that & it makes me happy that I'm one of the few people you can tell things to. Sweet stuffff.. but other than that it's just something about you that makes me really like you ay? I can't lie about that coz it's true. Your asking me if I was sure about it & straight out the answer came - positive. It doesn't matter if you seem uncertain at the moment, time will come & that's when you'll truly believe it. But there's this situation...that makes me worry coz hurting is what I heard most about, not me hurting anyone but you hurting...I don't know if it's a good idea. Should I give it a shot anyways? Risk it all, then watch me fall...? But whose there to blame afterwards, it's my own choice.
People may think I've moved on so quickly, but what would you guys know? You cannot judge me or have a say in this anyways hahaha.. To be honest; I've really have chose to move on as I have said before, it's true & this time it'll stay that way coz I'm not going to be the one running back anymore. I've appreciated what's in front of me now, someone that can hopefully be different from who you were, someone that could be better in her own way. What makes you different makes you beautiful & I guess it could be said that way. There's no excuse to cover up my feelings now, your gone & you know what? Just stay gone, it's been so fcuked up when you would come tumbling down shit on me, s'all good though coz that was what I was for before, but not anymore. You can talk to them fellas' that will fcuk you up, make you feel fcuked up or you can just play their games with them. Yeh, don't deny it coz your pretty good at it: friggen A++++, don't worry - no sugar. =D Now that's enough of you, you don't really deserve to be in my blogs anymore. I guess it could be a waste of space, but the spaces in between are my feelings so I don't know ay? Your just lucky here. I don't give two shits anymore =] coz I've learnt to accept that everything happens for a reason & this could be for the best reasons out in the universe. Thank god, stress relief ay?
Well other than that, I just want that person to realise who she is, the one that makes me think & feel differently. Even though I wake her up in the middle of the night & she's full tired: she's still talking to me & makes it worthwhile. But then it's funny how later on she swore she won't fall asleep & ends up falling asleep. x] Swear she's a dopey one. x3
You see it all in my smile,
You hear it all in my laugh.
The way I walk, you hear me talk,
And know I'm no longer sad.
I got no reason to smile more now than I've ever had,
I open up my eyes and realize that nothing's quite that bad.
Keeping my head to the sky; keeping tears out of my eyes,
Unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry;
And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong.
You hear it all in my laugh.
The way I walk, you hear me talk,
And know I'm no longer sad.
I got no reason to smile more now than I've ever had,
I open up my eyes and realize that nothing's quite that bad.
Keeping my head to the sky; keeping tears out of my eyes,
Unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry;
And life's too short to dwell on all that's wrong.
- JLe.
Yadda yadda yadda...