26th, 27th, 28th, 29th November
Song of the day: Torn - Letoya
Sometimes I hate seeing other couples around me without my other half around, I know that makes me sound selfish, but it's only the truth. I hate how they can be so lovey dovey & you can only look at them & go "how cute!" but with out your partner you just feel like you don't wanna be around. I know how people would feel withouth their lover around when you all surrounded by lovers. I don't mind that but it just makes me miss the girlfriend even more, but I shouldn't feel anything but happy coz I know she probably misses me too. >=] & I just want to share every moment with you ...
Don't you hate it when some people around you just changes? What happened to being close? It doesn't bug me that you just drift off but at least a notification will do. I don't hate you or diss you coz you decide to go off, I don't mind at all. It doesn't make a big difference in my life but just a call or something to let people know what your doing or what's going on will do. We don't always need you around, it'll always be the same coz we'll just be welcoming you back anytime. But when you decide to full on change, it pisses me off; it makes me MAD. What happened to the innocent you when I first knew you? Someone who just doesn't go off angrily or just those bitch fits, what happened to that person? You get too much of what you want, now you've become so controlling that it makes people turn away from you & not wanna be near you. I don't know how someone can put up with you, coz to be honest if you were mine; I'd cut the chords right now instead of hold on.
Love is a strong word, I don't find love within you at all & I don't see how someone could. Is it what you give the person? The anger you blow out or what is it? The body? HA-HA. What kind of love is this? & to be stupid enough, I don't know why someone would hold on to that. As low as it gets, what can I say? I guess love is truly blind. You don't know whose right for you but of all the wrong choices, someone that could spend all your money, someone that could just control you so strongly, someone that could let their anger at you through whatever, I don't find that loving at all. & to be honest, what kind of love is that? Even if you stick around the person you "love", people don't see it like you do; I truly think your stupid for taking it all. I've told you plenty of times that it's not worth it & I'll tell that person too, until the person realizes but I don't think the person does.
I'm not writing this to diss you of some sort or anything, I just don't see what is right about all of this that is happening. I know you have a life & I'm not a person to say a thing coz it's your life, but I'm just letting my opinions out.
Other than that, we could be arguing about something for so long & it gets to a point when you just can't be bothered right? Well, I know me going to some event might not be so plesant for you to know about but it's not like I would do anything wrong & even if someone comes along, I'd simply walk away. It doesn't matter if I cut that person, I'd walk away to save myself from the trouble I'll probably get into. It might sound like you just don't trust me but I'm sure you do - depending on what, but I'm not gonna do anything wrong & I'll stick to what I think is right. Even if we're going to argue about this, it'll come to an end when you say you don't care but I'm sure you do & probably after that - I would not feel like doing shit but whatever works, is fine. You'll understand me somehow & I will understand you too, it just takes time. I'll never stop trying to get to understand you so even though I sould like a liL kid whinging, you'll get through my head soon. x]
- JLe.
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