11th & 12th December
Song of the day - Heart Speaks First - Travis Garland
I told you the other day about everything, I knew it would have been hard for you which it was ... but you had to know anyways. I didn't want to carry on any longer without you knowing or you won't even be prepared later on. I know it was so hard to express what you were feeling coz you were so confused at the time, maybe still confused now. If I did know this was happening, I reassure you I wouldn't have chased after you each and every time, as things were getting into place...I'm sorry to say that it'll be all a mess again.
It will be hard for the both of us, harder to accept that this is actually happening. Each time you may think about it, your tears would start...you don't know how much this hurts me. I try to ignore what will happen more but when I see those tears & the words you say; it makes it so painful for me to look at you. I don't want to see you unhappy, I wanted to make you the most happiest girl alive. I'm sorry this isn't working out as I planned; nothing does. But I told you that you should be happy every single day that we're still together, a smile at every end of the day coz we'll have to make the most out of it.
I know one day you won't be mine anymore, this I just have to accept. Of course it will be hard to see you with another or even hear about it but I also told you that you'll just have to risk again. You don't know how hard it was for me to say those words to you, I just had to pull through & tell you anyways. I don't want you to stay on your own for too long, coz for sure someone will come along & make you happy; happier than I ever made you. You may not want to be in love for a while but please...not for long. I don't wanna know your hurting too much or hurting at all, coz that's just gonna give me pain but don't worry; your not hurting alone.
Sometimes I know that when I'm with you these days, I just want to make you smile. I always do. I just wanna remember your smile, not your tears. & to be the cause of your smile, just makes me happier & feeling less of a stress about leaving. These are the days of our lives, everything won't be forgotten coz I can truly say you are the best girlfriend a man could ever have. Your easy to get along with at times, crazy, loud, retarded in good ways, easy to open up to & you could be very understanding but you know what would catch their attentions? Your a party girl. Every man would be wishing to have you.
So for now, keep the tears away but if you have to; I'll be the here with the shoulder for you to cry on, be here to wipe away your tears & tell you everything will be ok. This isn't for long but I will do the most I can to wash away your sorrows. Whenever I think about it; I know I'd be feeling down too but I just remember the good friends I made & the fun I had but most of all I found love again.
Standing on the other side of the road,
With a tear in your eyes.
Wishing that I didn't act the way I do,
Took it too far this time.
I was filled with emotion,
Instead of giving you space,I threw it in your face.
And now, you just wanted me closer;
But I pushed you away.
I made you scream,I made you cry;
I shouldn't have taken the stars from your sky.
We're still a team,as much as it hurts;
Remember that they're only words,
My heart speaks first.
And even though the hurt you feel is all my bad,
It still drives me insane.
And you know that I love you,
That I need you to be there, like a table needs chairs.
But love, after all that we've been through,
Please don't let it all slip away...
With a tear in your eyes.
Wishing that I didn't act the way I do,
Took it too far this time.
I was filled with emotion,
Instead of giving you space,I threw it in your face.
And now, you just wanted me closer;
But I pushed you away.
I made you scream,I made you cry;
I shouldn't have taken the stars from your sky.
We're still a team,as much as it hurts;
Remember that they're only words,
My heart speaks first.
And even though the hurt you feel is all my bad,
It still drives me insane.
And you know that I love you,
That I need you to be there, like a table needs chairs.
But love, after all that we've been through,
Please don't let it all slip away...
- JLe.
Yadda yadda yadda...