4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th & 10th December
Song of the day: One Day On This Earth - R Kelly

So these days I don't blog as much anymore coz I'm always caught up, busy but I'm still blogging just to pass time & update whoever that is reading. Well I don't want to think about it but the day is coming closer, it just hurts to know thats all you got & nothing more. During this I've learnt that time is the most important thing & what is bad about this...its that you can't stop time & time won't wait.

Its getting harder as days goes by & just knowing that its going to kill us, we're still holding on. I don't know what to do anymore coz I just don't wanna feel so much hurt. Everyday spent with you my love grows fonder, its more & more each day & the days I see you are practically everyday. I don't know how I'm going to cope later on: when I don't see you anymore, when I can't hold you, when I can't wake up to your face, when I can't kiss you, when I can't sleep with you, when I can't make you smile or laugh & when I can't hold your hand & tell everyone your mine. I don't know how I'm going to fcken cope...as much as I don't want to think about this..this is all happening & time is what we don't have enough of coz what we got are just going to be memories & hurt.

What am I going to do without you? Just thinking of this is killing me inside & when I see you, it hurts more coz things will become so different later on. I smile when I see you but when each time I have to go, it tears me apart more & more... I know there are still times when we fuss & fight over things, its not anything we really need to stress ourselves over but it happens & as much stress we bring to one another, you'll still be loved.

Nothing can change the way I feel coz my love for you is strong. But there are times when we say the most stupid things that makes us think again or there are times we just don't believe each other when we just don't want to but we end up believing. This is the love that keeps me going, this is the love that keeps us together & it makes us stronger. No one can come between us now but I really hope I could say later too ... but whatever happens happen.

When I heard someone ask you the question " are you going to wait..? ", it just made me stop, I answered "NO" coz I don't want you waiting but a part of me wants you. I don't want you to be down & all when you are around other couples, they have their lovey dovey kiss kiss shit & your just alone, that's not fair & I don't want you feeling alone. Coz wherever your heart may leave you after, I hope it's all good. Even if someone else comes to you, I'll still love you but I won't stop you or get into your way. I know it'll be hard but we can make this work. I don't want you wasting your time. Just enjoy yourself.

I know the other night we were talking & I said; I love you coz you hold the air I breathe & until the day I die I'll love you, coz you are my life. < or something along those lines. I know I'm a cheesey one but when I say it I mean it, do you ever hear me saying shit like that all the time? Telling you how much I love you? No. But I only started that coz I know that it's ture. I do love you. I won't deny it.

One day we will be reminiscing, maybe more than one day & when we do; I just want you to remember all the good & the bads & what we've became out of it. I've always had you & now I can truly say, you have me.