28th, 29th, 30th, 31st December - 1st, 2nd, 3rd January
Song of the day: Look What You've Done - JET
One week ago I blogged. This is a new beginning now, a new chapter in life coz it's a new year. Its funny how you think back to the past, you realize so much has happened but at the time you didn't realize it then later when you look back you just know you've been through it all. When I looked back, I just realize how fast time has passed me by & I don't know if that's a good thing coz nothing everything I want has succeeded but I know I tried so that's the most success out of all. I hope everyone have a very happy new year with heaps of joy & laughter. Life's too short to worry about the little things.
Moments in time. I'm so happy I got to spend NYE with my girlfriend, it sounds simple & all but when your in the moment of it, your so happy coz at least I spent it with someone I love & care about. There has never been a time when I would spend these occasion with the one I love but instead just hang about, I know we didn't do much & missed out on actually going out to see the fireworks but what was the best bit about all that was we were together every single second of it. We were making our time pass by & before we knew it; it was new years although we watched the fireworks on TV, that doesn't matter. I was still with you ... but what made me down was that I saw the tears run down your eye, down your cheeks as you said " 29days . . ". When you said that, it just made me down, I just wanted to make you stop crying & reassure you everything but I can't coz I could only be there at these times to hold onto you & tell you everything will be alright. I tried.
I know it's going to be hard, its hard for me too, after all that we've been through... This is the worst bit. I don't wanna face it but this is life, we just gotta live it. I can't always be there for you but whatever chance I have, I will use it. I don't mind coz what's important is that I love you, I truly do. It tears me apart to know your upset or even see you cry. I know there are times when I am being a dickhead you cry, but on that night ... it was just a new beginning, a new year. You weren't suppose to cry but it's aiight, a new year in my arms is what will stop you from crying. Your too beautiful to cry.
I know there are times when I get paranoid & stubborn over nothing & it bugs the hell out of you but I can't help it. You think that I don't believe you nor do I trust you but guess what...I really do, I just get afraid...afraid of losing you but it will be happening; I don't want to think about it. I know how stubborn I can get, I can just ignore you but you know I can't help it, in the end I always come back coz I hate the thought of not having you. & I'm sorry I get paranoid, I get jealous. When people say " when you get jealous, it's lust not love " well FCUK you coz apart of love is to show you care & jealousy is a part of it. I care enough & worry enough to be jealous & that's how I am. I trust you but I don't trust "them".
Other than that, something bugs me. I don't see how a couple could be together when they are so different, they are not like any normal couple. When your in a serious relationship, you tend to care although you say you don't but when you truly act like you don't...that's not serious. It doesn't matter how long your together, it just doesn't count. You guys can't even talk to each other online & when you do it's one worded answer, you can't even phone properly or talk properly unless your alone. It shouldn't matter if your alone or not, if you guys are committed, it should just work & flow together. I know its not simple & you guys could be together every single day, but what is the point when nothing really works out & you guys just don't try to understand one another. Yet you guys have your arguments & bad times; but whats the point of having them when you guys can't even talk it out? Can't even be bothered or no one wants to back down. I know you'll get tired of always being the one but if you feel so tired about it, why don't you tell the person, why don't you just try to communicate? I don't see the point of the relationship, honestly. What do you see in each other? I know time has been long but time is nothing ... it's what happens & what you guys conquer that means the most.
Take my photo off the wall,
If it just won't sing for you.
'Cause all that's left has gone away,
And there's nothing there for you to prove.
Oh, look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone;
Oh well, it seems likes such fun,
Until you lose what you had won.
Give me back my point of view,
'Cause I just can't think for you.
I can hardly hear you say,
What should I do, well you choose...
If it just won't sing for you.
'Cause all that's left has gone away,
And there's nothing there for you to prove.
Oh, look what you've done.
You've made a fool of everyone;
Oh well, it seems likes such fun,
Until you lose what you had won.
Give me back my point of view,
'Cause I just can't think for you.
I can hardly hear you say,
What should I do, well you choose...
- JLe.
Yadda yadda yadda...